[Seimei had told him that he wanted to be the one to focus on cleaning. It was all part of what made Seimei who he was. This obsession with being clean and Soubi knew it was simply what Seimei wanted. It was easy not to make much of a mess.
It still feels rude to not clean up after himself and he tries to quietly wipe off most of the food so Seimei doesn't have to do more than he has to.]
Okay then. I'll go back to my room. [That's a pretty obvious dismissal.]
[ it wouldn’t be seimei if he made it that easy. he again pats the space next to him on the couch, where soubi had just stood up from. part of his silence was spent in deciding whether or not he wants to do this, and he has decided that he does.
it won’t be comfortable for soubi, but it will be something. ]
[ seimei thinks that’s obvious. he doesn’t know what soubi has to be scared of. ]
I want to put my head in your lap.
[ with seimei, wanting to do something and doing something are functionally the same sentiment, and he’s already pulling his legs up so that he can lie back and rest his head on soubi’s thighs. it’s better than using his hands, like before. he isn’t sure why he didn’t think of this in the first place. ]
[Soubi doesn't think he has been this tense in a while. Where does he put his hands? He can't put them on Seimei although his hair looks soft and nice...
But he definitely cannot touch Seimei.
He puts one arm on the back cushion and the other on the side of his thigh so his hand stays far from Seimei.]
It's good.
[No it is not and his heart is thumping way too loud.]
[ soubi is lying, of course. seimei can’t imagine that soubi is happy about this at all. maybe there’s something that pleases him, having seimei here, but seimei doesn’t think soubi can even experience happiness without so many complications it’s hardly even happiness at all. ]
Then I’m going to sleep.
[ and he does want to. a catnap, after such a long morning. ]
[Tilting his head back, he looks up to the ceiling. When Ritsu had trained him, Ritsu had taught him to self-hypnotize to get through pain. It often worked well enough and although he doesn't think he was ever taught it for this reason, he needed to do it.
Staring up, eyes glazed over, he keeps telling himself he's fine. He doesn't need to move. He doesn't need to think about Seimei right here on him or anything. Grit through it. Get through it.]
[ seimei surprises himself, just a little, with how comfortable he is in soubi’s lap. a part of him thought that maybe he wouldn’t be able to sleep.
but the chroma soothes him. the quiet soothes him. when he closes his eyes, he finds that he really is sleepy—and it’s not long before his face turns just so slightly and his muscles relax, his chest rising and falling in slow, even breaths.
[What begins as trying to distract himself from Seimei being there does become something else. There's something oddly comforting about Seimei's presence. He guesses it's the chroma and he thinks that maybe he wouldn't dislike this if it was just like this.
Soubi rarely sleeps very much. Even when he's in bed, he lies there and stares at the wall unable to let himself drift off until it's pure exhaustion.
And that's why he falls asleep as soon as he closes his eyes and this is one of the few times he's ever fallen asleep with someone else.
And it isn't bad despite all the reasons it should be.]
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It still feels rude to not clean up after himself and he tries to quietly wipe off most of the food so Seimei doesn't have to do more than he has to.]
Okay then. I'll go back to my room. [That's a pretty obvious dismissal.]
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[ it wouldn’t be seimei if he made it that easy. he again pats the space next to him on the couch, where soubi had just stood up from. part of his silence was spent in deciding whether or not he wants to do this, and he has decided that he does.
it won’t be comfortable for soubi, but it will be something. ]
Come here. Sit down.
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But he does still go to where Seimei tells him to and rigidly sits down, unsure and a bit frightened.]
I'm not very comfortable.
[Nothing about this is comfortable at all.]
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[ seimei thinks that’s obvious. he doesn’t know what soubi has to be scared of. ]
I want to put my head in your lap.
[ with seimei, wanting to do something and doing something are functionally the same sentiment, and he’s already pulling his legs up so that he can lie back and rest his head on soubi’s thighs. it’s better than using his hands, like before. he isn’t sure why he didn’t think of this in the first place. ]
How about this?
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But he definitely cannot touch Seimei.
He puts one arm on the back cushion and the other on the side of his thigh so his hand stays far from Seimei.]
It's good.
[No it is not and his heart is thumping way too loud.]
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Then I’m going to sleep.
[ and he does want to. a catnap, after such a long morning. ]
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[Tilting his head back, he looks up to the ceiling. When Ritsu had trained him, Ritsu had taught him to self-hypnotize to get through pain. It often worked well enough and although he doesn't think he was ever taught it for this reason, he needed to do it.
Staring up, eyes glazed over, he keeps telling himself he's fine. He doesn't need to move. He doesn't need to think about Seimei right here on him or anything. Grit through it. Get through it.]
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but the chroma soothes him. the quiet soothes him. when he closes his eyes, he finds that he really is sleepy—and it’s not long before his face turns just so slightly and his muscles relax, his chest rising and falling in slow, even breaths.
he’s asleep. ]
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Soubi rarely sleeps very much. Even when he's in bed, he lies there and stares at the wall unable to let himself drift off until it's pure exhaustion.
And that's why he falls asleep as soon as he closes his eyes and this is one of the few times he's ever fallen asleep with someone else.
And it isn't bad despite all the reasons it should be.]