depreciated | inbox;

Be safe.

[ seimei calls after him like a wife to her husband heading out for the day’s work.

and only once soubi is gone does he feel like he can relax. it’s strange. he’s restless—being around soubi makes him restless in ways that he’s never been before. the cordis moon didn’t have this much of an effect on him last time, so why now? he doesn’t like thinking that he can be influenced by soubi that much.

rather than actually returning to his game, he spends a good long while washing his hands, and he tucks himself into the couch afterwards.

it’s not fair that he actually wants soubi to come back. waiting feels like an eternity. his ears twitch at every little sound—it’s embarrassing, as if his body is lovesick without his heart and mind being anywhere near it. really, all he feels is disdain, even when listening so closely for soubi’s returning footsteps. ]

[The trip outside had been a nightmare. Maybe he should have expected it but the number of people that had been attracted to his scent had been nauseating. It was easy to brush them off, be rude to them and make them go away. But one person had grabbed his tail when he had waited in line for Seimei's food and Soubi pondered never leaving the apartment again.

However, once he's inside with his bags and he smells Seimei again, he changes his mind. There's this draw he feels to the other, that pulls him to Seimei. The feeling of Seimei's hand in his comes back and he can currently remember only the positive feelings of it. Not the panic that had been entwined within that.]

I'm back.

[Shoes off again, he makes his way to Seimei and sets the breakfast he got for him.] I got you two extra hashbrowns. [Setting the other bags down, only one of them has ingredients for Soubi's meal and the rest has junkfood for Seimei. As much as he doesn't want to go back out, he doesn't even think this will be enough.]

They were only serving breakfast. I got you the potato chips you like and some other snacks. [One bag, though, he pulls out what looks like a veggie platter.] I got these just to have them. If you only eat snacks, I wouldn't want you to lose your energy.

[Maybe that's presumptuous? But well, Seimei has to live on more than just snacks.]

[ seimei half-listens to soubi explaining everything. between the smell of the food—something he usually hates so much—and soubi’s pheromones filling the space of their apartment once again, he’s distracted. it’s as if all his nerves woke up the moment soubi opened the door.

resembling ritsuka in some ways, he makes a face—more subtle, though—at soubi withdrawing the vegetables. he doesn’t dislike veggies half as much as his younger brother, but especially during cordis, they’re not at all what he wants to eat. ]

I’ll take them.

[ he’s not completely ungrateful, though. he might be a teenager, but there is still some dignity he has about himself. ]

Was it busy? You took so long.

[There was some ways that Ritsuka had reminded him of Seimei. One could tell they were brothers by appearance alone but the things they ate were similar. Although Ritsuka had the pickiness of a child and Seimei was picky because he was neurotic about food. At least he knew Seimei would eat the vegetables.

He puts his ingredients away, knowing better than to start cooking with Seimei around despite how hungry he is.]

It was and people kept bothering me. I'm sorry. I went as fast as I could. [He's done putting away his groceries but he feels torn between wanting to as close to Seimei as possible and feeling as if doing that is the worst idea possible. Seimei had wanted to sit together, right? But Soubi knows better than to assume that's what he still wants but he hasn't been sent away. Then Seimei wants him, right? This world is a new setting with new rules and Soubi doesn't know them yet.

Instead he goes to gather up the bags so he can throw them away.]

You don’t need to apologize.

[ seimei does move on the couch so that there is, in theory, room for soubi to sit. it’s hard to tell by that alone if that’s an invitation, even as he casually opens up the containers to pull out one of those much-needed hashbrowns. it doesn’t occur to him to hide away right now. whether it’s comfort with soubi or just a need to eat, he can’t say. ]

Aren’t you coming?

[Then Seimei wants him to sit. That's it, right? But he had also just gotten ready to eat. To Soubi, this feels like he's invading his privacy. Like Seimei was undressing and Soubi was staring.

Still he wants to be near him, even if it's only because of whatever is happening because of this moon. So he goes to sit.

And stares at the floor. At least he's slowly learned to control the movement of his ears again. The only sign of anxiety is a flick but even that can come across as a natural movement.]

[ seimei doesn’t let him “relax,” if it can even be called that, for long. he observes soubi, and then: ]

You don’t look comfortable.

[ seimei bites into his delicious hashbrown, and he doesn’t seem to miss a beat in doing it, as if he’s forgotten his own neuroses. or maybe this is just so much more like spending time with nisei than with septimal moon, and soubi now gets to reap the benefits of belonging to seimei and seimei alone once more. ]

Oh, you were going to eat something too, weren’t you?

I can make something later.

[Even if his stomach feels like it's eating itself. Making sure his eyes stay away from Seimei is like a full-time gig right now and the anxiety spikes when he hears Seimei going ahead and eating. He definitely should not look.

If they were home, maybe this would be easier. The rules might have stayed the same but here where they are obviously affected by something outside of their realm, everything is upside down and Soubi doesn't know what to do.]

[ the oil from the food makes seimei’s lips shine, at least until he delicately takes a napkin. even if he is deigning to eat in front of soubi, he’s an extraordinarily careful eater. ]

Hmm. You look so sad, though.

[ it’s not enough. seimei really wants to gorge himself on food and chroma both, but having soubi here helps him maintain some composure. ]

Do you want a bite of mine?

[Peripherally, Soubi notices every movement that Seimei makes. It was how he was trained. He has to take in every detail about his environment and when he's with his master, that's when he's completely on edge.

Everything about Seimei is beautiful. While he had never been drawn to the flame quite like Nisei had, Soubi could acknowledge Seimei's beauty. With these pheromones, Soubi felt himself drawn.

But he was not a human. He was not somebody with wants of his own. What he wanted was what Seimei wanted. Simple as that.]

I got it for you.

[ seimei hums, considering that answer.

it’s not a bad one. soubi has to be good with words, of course, to be as talented a fighter as he is. if he were anything less than impeccably clever, seimei wouldn’t have wanted him. ]

You did.

[ simple, basic agreement. seimei finishes what he’s eating and returns to the bag for round two, but this time, he settles against soubi’s shoulder to eat.

he isn’t immune to the moon. he just has to justify everything he does now as intentional. ]

I’m not uncomfortable, am I?

No. Not at all.

[If one doesn't include how anxious this makes him feel and how he's waiting for Seimei to consider one thing a slip-up.

And yet there's this sense of comfort. One weaker than himself would probably lean their head down on Seimei's and it's a struggle not to. It's only thanks to his steeled resolve that he doesn't despite how his tail twitches once and then stills.

But he wants to touch him and maybe some part deep down wishes he could.]

You’re quite warm, Soubi. I never got that impression from you.

[ seimei could talk to a brick wall if he were given a topic to monologue on, and soubi isn’t much different from one to begin with. seimei has never asked him to be. ]

Oh, I told you that I’ve made friends, haven’t I?

[ he’s going to keep talking. he doesn’t need soubi to do anything except provide chroma where their shoulders touch. ]

In the game, and real life. I went on a date. Isn’t that funny?

[Soubi can't quite explain what feeling that evokes from him. Mostly disbelief at first. Anything else he could have said wouldn't have mattered because Seimei went on a date? Willingly? Or for some other reason?]

Oh?

[He wants to ask why but he doesn't have the right to ask that. But what reason would there ever be for Seimei to go on a date? He didn't like people like that. Even when it came to friends. Seimei's friends were never really friends.

There had to be some ulterior motive for it.]

Mmhm.

[ with a full mouth. he’s finding his rhythm again, as he eats. luckily, he heard that cordis moonblessed need so much because their metabolism is high—he won’t be putting on any weight during the moon.

he crumples the wrapper for his latest finished piece in his hand, but he doesn’t yet dive in for the miniature pancakes. those need a fork. ]

It was for charity. [ he laughs. ] But I bet you thought I had found someone for a moment, right?

I didn't think somebody like that could exist here.

[Seimei wasn't average. He was so much more than that and anybody that met him could see that. It was his name. His fate.

And people here, Soubi thought, had not been impressive enough to measure up to a name like Beloved.

It's much more of an answer than he usually gives and maybe one Seimei will tease him over but he assumes that it's the kind of answer that Soubi feels and so he would want to hear it.]

You’re right, so far.

[ not that seimei hates the people he’s encountered. some of them are interesting, excepting the lizard-marked sanguis that sank his teeth into seimei’s shoulder. seimei will have his revenge one day. ]

But can’t you see it? Me, settling down with someone on this alien planet.

[Soubi had never once envisioned Seimei dating anybody. Once he had spent time with the other, it had become obvious he wasn't like other people. Someone like Seimei didn't seem like he would even think of such things.

But there were people here that Soubi had never encountered before so maybe...maybe it made sense?

This is not what he wants to think about.]

It isn't my place to think about that.

Haha!

[ another good answer. ]

You’re so careful, Soubi.

[ seimei realizes then that what his body craves is to luxuriate—he wants to lie down in soubi’s lap and have soubi feed him until he feels full. it’s an uncomfortable thought, if for no other reason than that gluttony isn’t his style.

it does make him calm down, though. ]

Why don’t you go cook something? I want to watch.

[Soubi, if nothing else, could prize himself as being a good fighter. Knowing exactly what to do and say. How to show respect to his master. Ritsu had taught him well.

He doesn't want to get up because feeling Seimei against him like this is nice and it shouldn't be but he wonders what could happen if he held his hand again and—

Yeah. Time to get up. He's making kabayaki but with eggplant because, well, he couldn't find eel and he didn't really trust any of the meat here. Some of the sauce ingredients he had to substitute but hey, he knows how to cook and he can do it well.

Even if doing this in front of Seimei is nervewracking and why does he want to watch?]

[ seimei isn’t usually a whimsical person, even if it seems like it, but cordis is slowly but surely encouraging it out of him. it would seem to anyone that seimei is harassing soubi for the purpose of harassing him, and maybe in a way, he is. it’s not like he hates soubi, though.

at least, not in the traditional sense of “hate.” ]

Hmm.

[ he can’t stay quiet. ]

Did you cook for Ritsuka like this?

[He grips the knife in his hand a little tighter as he hears that question. There's no point in lying.]

Yes.

[There's probably something that Seimei could find offensive in that but there's a lot about their relationship that he can assume that Seimei wouldn't like.]

I cooked for the Zeroes so I made dinner for everybody when Ritsuka was using my apartment. [But he can defend it a bit.

And pointedly leave out he cooked for Ritsuka's friend a couple of times as well because there's no need to bring in innocent Yuiko.]

[ seimei hums, thoughtfully. he could say anything right now. he could be the cruelest he’s ever chosen to be. ]

I bet Ritsuka was happy.

[ in a way, that rare, sincere kindness is just another form of seimei’s cruelty, but only because he’s speaking to soubi. more than anything, even seimei finds it exhausting to be seimei, soubi’s keeper, all the time, and maybe the moonlacing and a little bit of food have both made him calmer. he’s not satisfied and maybe never will be as long as cordis hangs over them, but it’s something. ]

It was hard to make him eat his vegetables, even for me.

[If Soubi said what was on his mind, he would say this seems to be an Aoyagi trait. Not that Seimei is as bad considering Ritsuka is a child and still in his picky eater phase.

But they both preferred to eat snacks than anything of substance.

Seimei didn't want him to speak about Ritsuka before but he seems to now. Maybe he misses him. Soubi doesn't know but it's easy to talk about him.]

I learned how to mix things in so he couldn't taste them. [There's a moment and Soubi smiles at the memory.] I was able to make him eat burdock.

[ seimei got his special item. he’s been enjoying it, and he misses ritsuka so much that he almost regrets what he’s done and what he still has to do. at least soubi doesn’t know exactly what’s in store. ]

How merciless.

[ seimei’s smile is the most genuine it’s been since he got here, at least for an instant. ]

Well, I didn’t mind spoiling him. It’s more fun to let him have dessert for dinner. [ he looks down at soubi’s knifework. ] …but you’re right. If you do something to someone gradually enough, they’ll never even know it’s happening.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject