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[He couldn't have been lucky enough for Seimei to not say anything. Soubi doesn't think he ever gave Seimei a chance to see what he had looked like with his ears and tail but he assumes that of course Seimei knows of them. What he looked like because he had done research before choosing Soubi, hadn't he? Of course he did. Seimei had wanted him back then.

Touching his hair, he lies.] Yes, I trimmed the ends. I was worried about it growing too long...

[He looks down to the ground, afraid of meeting Seimei's eyes. Not that he should directly look at him anyway.]

Hahaha. You’re so cute, Soubi.

[ cordis, maybe. ]

It doesn’t suit you. [ he says “it,” like he’s talking about the trim, but there’s nothing else it could be but the ears on top of his head and that little tail nervously flicking behind him. ] I liked you better before.

[Seimei calling him cute has a very similar effect that Ritsu calling him cute does. It's unnerving and makes him feel gross although in many different ways.]

It'll grow back out. I'm sorry.

[At this point, he's backed up into the door of his bedroom as he stares down at the ground and wonders if Seimei really dislikes him with ears and tail or is he just being cruel? It doesn't matter the reason, though, because whatever Seimei's will is then it'll be carried out.

He just hopes that Seimei would be happy insulting him.]

[ seimei follows him as he backs up, nearly predatorial, but there’s something playful about his movements. his cruelty has a kind of bounce to it this morning, though that doesn’t make it less hurtful. ]

It’s all right. You smell good, so I don’t mind forgiving you.

[ he hated it just a few minutes ago, but it’s like being in soubi’s presence has flipped a switch for him. even without seimei’s usual cat features, he’s somehow kitten-like. ]

You’re hungry too, aren’t you?

[As Seimei follows Soubi, all he can think of is how he wishes Seimei could get closer because smells good, too, and he can remember holding Ritsuka and how nice that had been and if Seimei would just get a little closer then he could almost remember...

That is definitely wrong and not what he should be thinking at all.

Mind racing, he nods again.] You told me during this moon this would happen. I can get you what you want and I'll get ingredients for my own dishes. [He has to take care of his diet. His body is to be used and what good is a weak body that can't properly fight?]

[ seimei is so used to being in control of himself that he doesn’t notice anything is wrong within him. of course he can tell, physically, that he’s antsy and hungry—but his desire to be in soubi’s space feels very much like his own.

his tail is all bushed up. ]

I want a breakfast set from that fast food place around the corner.

[ it’s more food than seimei usually eats in the morning, but listen. ]

With an extra order of hashbrowns, too.

[Soubi couldn't remember being so starved for touch before this. It's the moon, it's definitely the moon, and he knows that Seimei invading his space like this is because of cordis as well because how many times had he been reminded? Seimei hated touch. It hurt him.

But as he looks at Seimei's feet and how close they are, Soubi still thinks this is nice and very wrong. All at the same time. He wants to get out of here but Seimei isn't backing up, is he?]

Okay. I will do that. [Swallowing past a lump in his throat, he continues.] I can get you lunch and dinner while I'm out, too.

Won’t that be expensive?

[ seimei asks this knowing that it will, and that soubi should already have the money to do it from those commissions he’s been taking, but it’s like he can’t help himself in taunting soubi—tempting himself—with touch. ]

I ought to give you a little extra to make sure you can cover it.

[Soubi has enough money. Much to his surprise, being able to take commissions has done well for him. Fighting for chroma has been a big asset, too.]

I don't need it. Thank you but you have already helped me plenty.

[Helped him to wholly support Seimei but hey, all Soubi did was take care of Seimei, right? So that was a minor detail.]

I insist.

[ seimei was never asking, really. his insistence had been there from the moment he opened his mouth, but he doesn’t hold it against soubi for trying to be polite.

only now is it a test. he holds his hand out, inviting. ]

Soubi.

[Ever since reuniting with Seimei as his Fighter, it's been...hard. Soubi doesn't know what it is exactly. While the other had always been someone that liked games, liked to keep people guessing; Soubi had always been proud of himself for knowing what Seimei wanted from him. They had been perfect. Everybody had always said so.

Now, as he stares at that hand, he doesn't know what this is. It has to be a test. How many times had Seimei gotten angry over the smallest touches?

But during this moon, if Seimei was feeling even one ounce of what he was, and the way he smells...

Tail moving back and forth, he reaches his hand out to shake Seimei's.]

[ seimei knows that he doesn’t like to be touched. he’s aware of himself, but it doesn’t feel like that now, when all he wants is to bask in the warmth of moonlacing. ]

See? It’s nice.

[ seimei takes soubi’s hand in both of his, in fact, guiding their fingers to lace. ]

Aren’t you happy?

[It does feel nice and that need to touch, to be touched, fades only a little. Some part wants more but the part of himself that is terrified, waiting for Seimei to turn is much louder.

Does he hold back onto the hand? Is that too much?] I'm very happy. [Although the frown on his face says otherwise as he stares at their hands.

Maybe the worst part of it all is that deep inside, some part of himself is happy. That seventeen-year-old that had been told somebody had wanted him. Maybe that's who's happy.]

You don’t look very happy.

[ seimei can’t help himself. his playfulness always gives way to cruelty after so long. he squeezes soubi’s fingers, allowing the chroma to build between them.

it should pay for his breakfast indeed, whether soubi likes it or not. ]

Nisei always let me know how happy you seemed with Ritsuka. [ a smile. ] What do you think? Is this enough?

[And there it is. Soubi had been waiting for that cruelty because this was Seimei. This was what he did.

As much as he is used to Seimei's biting words, there's a special brand of cruelty being shown here. Mentioning Ritsuka alone is bad enough but everything jumbled together makes his heart feel ready to jump out of his chest.]

I'm not good at smiling and Nisei doesn't know anything anyway. [If there is a chance to insult Nisei then he will take it.

How long can two people just stand there holding hands? Soubi thinks he should pull his hand away but if he does it too soon then he comes across as not wanting to be with Seimei.] But thank you, yes. This is enough.

We can sit together when you get back.

[ seimei lets go of soubi’s hands more delicately than he really needs to. their fingers slide together, touch lingering. ]

I think it’ll be fun.

[ he will, most likely, change his mind. even if he’s willing to touch soubi now, to make a point, there’s something about the image of himself eating in front of soubi that doesn’t sit well with him. ]

[Soubi opens his mouth to say "you don't need to" but thinks better of it. Who knows how Seimei would take that? And Soubi also assumes Seimei may not want to. After all, Soubi had never even seen Seimei eat. Not through their almost four years together and living with him now, as if he wasn't human. Something more than that.

Closing his mouth, he nods and puts his hand behind his back. As if afraid it'll be taken back again.]

I won't take long. I know how hungry you are.

[Honestly at this point, Soubi might have some fast food, too, despite his tendency to never partake but when you're this hungry, you do what you can.]

[ soubi is scared.

seimei thinks about calling him out on it. the taunts edge themselves to the front of his mind—words about how soubi never used to hide from him like that. but ultimately, he keeps them to himself.

the glint in his eyes says enough. ]

Haha. We’re still in sync, after all.

[ he smiles, and then practically bounds over to the nearest chair to pick up his device again. he’s having fun. the torment doesn’t mean anything to him. ]

I’ll keep myself busy. [ as he waves his device so soubi can see he’s playing a game. ] I’ve been making new friends. It’s fun.

[How can Soubi miss that glint in his eyes? It's familiar, painfully so. Maybe they were perfectly in sync if Seimei knew how it felt like a knife and if Soubi could easily see what was happening in that new game. How Seimei was living up to his name, Beloved, and probably becoming popular in this game.

They knew each other deep down, even if Soubi worries about not knowing him perfectly, all of this is still familiar enough.

He wants away from this tension because Seimei smells intoxicating and he misses his touch already and he definitely should not. That's dangerous. Instead he's quickly getting his device and putting his shoes on.]

I'll be leaving now.

Be safe.

[ seimei calls after him like a wife to her husband heading out for the day’s work.

and only once soubi is gone does he feel like he can relax. it’s strange. he’s restless—being around soubi makes him restless in ways that he’s never been before. the cordis moon didn’t have this much of an effect on him last time, so why now? he doesn’t like thinking that he can be influenced by soubi that much.

rather than actually returning to his game, he spends a good long while washing his hands, and he tucks himself into the couch afterwards.

it’s not fair that he actually wants soubi to come back. waiting feels like an eternity. his ears twitch at every little sound—it’s embarrassing, as if his body is lovesick without his heart and mind being anywhere near it. really, all he feels is disdain, even when listening so closely for soubi’s returning footsteps. ]

[The trip outside had been a nightmare. Maybe he should have expected it but the number of people that had been attracted to his scent had been nauseating. It was easy to brush them off, be rude to them and make them go away. But one person had grabbed his tail when he had waited in line for Seimei's food and Soubi pondered never leaving the apartment again.

However, once he's inside with his bags and he smells Seimei again, he changes his mind. There's this draw he feels to the other, that pulls him to Seimei. The feeling of Seimei's hand in his comes back and he can currently remember only the positive feelings of it. Not the panic that had been entwined within that.]

I'm back.

[Shoes off again, he makes his way to Seimei and sets the breakfast he got for him.] I got you two extra hashbrowns. [Setting the other bags down, only one of them has ingredients for Soubi's meal and the rest has junkfood for Seimei. As much as he doesn't want to go back out, he doesn't even think this will be enough.]

They were only serving breakfast. I got you the potato chips you like and some other snacks. [One bag, though, he pulls out what looks like a veggie platter.] I got these just to have them. If you only eat snacks, I wouldn't want you to lose your energy.

[Maybe that's presumptuous? But well, Seimei has to live on more than just snacks.]

[ seimei half-listens to soubi explaining everything. between the smell of the food—something he usually hates so much—and soubi’s pheromones filling the space of their apartment once again, he’s distracted. it’s as if all his nerves woke up the moment soubi opened the door.

resembling ritsuka in some ways, he makes a face—more subtle, though—at soubi withdrawing the vegetables. he doesn’t dislike veggies half as much as his younger brother, but especially during cordis, they’re not at all what he wants to eat. ]

I’ll take them.

[ he’s not completely ungrateful, though. he might be a teenager, but there is still some dignity he has about himself. ]

Was it busy? You took so long.

[There was some ways that Ritsuka had reminded him of Seimei. One could tell they were brothers by appearance alone but the things they ate were similar. Although Ritsuka had the pickiness of a child and Seimei was picky because he was neurotic about food. At least he knew Seimei would eat the vegetables.

He puts his ingredients away, knowing better than to start cooking with Seimei around despite how hungry he is.]

It was and people kept bothering me. I'm sorry. I went as fast as I could. [He's done putting away his groceries but he feels torn between wanting to as close to Seimei as possible and feeling as if doing that is the worst idea possible. Seimei had wanted to sit together, right? But Soubi knows better than to assume that's what he still wants but he hasn't been sent away. Then Seimei wants him, right? This world is a new setting with new rules and Soubi doesn't know them yet.

Instead he goes to gather up the bags so he can throw them away.]

You don’t need to apologize.

[ seimei does move on the couch so that there is, in theory, room for soubi to sit. it’s hard to tell by that alone if that’s an invitation, even as he casually opens up the containers to pull out one of those much-needed hashbrowns. it doesn’t occur to him to hide away right now. whether it’s comfort with soubi or just a need to eat, he can’t say. ]

Aren’t you coming?

[Then Seimei wants him to sit. That's it, right? But he had also just gotten ready to eat. To Soubi, this feels like he's invading his privacy. Like Seimei was undressing and Soubi was staring.

Still he wants to be near him, even if it's only because of whatever is happening because of this moon. So he goes to sit.

And stares at the floor. At least he's slowly learned to control the movement of his ears again. The only sign of anxiety is a flick but even that can come across as a natural movement.]

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